


physics and why are you in my room

by AceDetective



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series), Thomas Sanders
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Disordered Eating, Disordered Eating relating to anxiety, Gen, Logan is very determined to befriend him, Virgil has Anxiety, poor coping mechanisms
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-15
Updated: 2019-06-15
Packaged: 2020-05-12 04:17:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,576
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19221427
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AceDetective/pseuds/AceDetective
Summary: To say that college was exactly what Virgil expected would be correct. Here he was, halfway through his second year and unable to make a single friend. He knew it was partially his fault. Virgil didn’t make many attempts to befriend anyone.Most of the time his anxiety drove him to stay in his dorm or to seek refuge in one of the quieter sections of campus. The ones no one else went to.





	physics and why are you in my room

To say that college was exactly what Virgil expected would be correct. Here he was, halfway through his second year and unable to make a single friend. He knew it was partially his fault. Virgil didn’t make many attempts to befriend anyone.

Most of the time his anxiety drove him to stay in his dorm or to seek refuge in one of the quieter sections of campus. The ones no one else went to.

He couldn’t stand to eat in front of others, with his mind screaming at him that people were staring every time he took a bite. So, he sat in the back, far from anyone else. Even then, his brain created wisps of people, watching, staring, judging.

The quietest, emptiest parts of the library weren’t safe for him. Every move, every turn of a page, was too loud. He was loud. Noisy. A nuisance to anyone attempting to get work done. He always fled within an hour of arriving, driven away by his paranoia.

His room was hardly a safe place, but it was the best he would get. His loud roommate, who never seemed to sleep or cease his renditions of Broadway and Disney, made sure of it. At first, Virgil tried to befriend him, but the singer was too much for him.

Virgil sighed as he approached his dorm. Classes were in full session and the never-ending work weighed down on him. He wanted nothing more than to collapse on his bed and sleep the semester away. Not that he could. Virgil worked too hard to get into college to allow himself to give up.

There was so much work to do, but maybe, Roman would take a hint and be quiet today.

Approaching their shared room, Virgil could hear no music. No Hamilton, no Mary Poppins, no Moana. Just silence. Roman was at a party? There was no other explanation. It was Friday night, so it made sense.

Virgil put his key in the door and let himself in. He glanced around the room and spotted his roommate, asleep on his beanbag chair. To this day, Virgil had no idea how Roman hid the large chair when the RAs did their random safety inspections. As long as Roman didn’t get caught and blame it on him, Virgil supposed it didn’t matter.

Seeing Roman asleep didn’t surprise him, he knew Roman had to sleep at some point. No, what surprised him were the two other men on the beanbag chair. One snuggled into Roman, asleep and the remaining sat on Roman’s other side, reading a physics book.

The man looked up to Virgil and, taking note of where he was, shut the textbook. He fixed his tie and sat up straighter on the beanbag.

“Salutations. I’m Logan Nox, Roman’s friend.”

“Virgil.”

Virgil stepped around the beanbag that took up much of the floor of their room and set his backpack on his desk. He could feel Logan’s eyes trained on him. He shuddered and did his best to ignore it. It was hard to, but soon enough Virgil sat down in his desk chair and pulled out his books.

“You take Physics 119?” Logan asked. “I do as well, though, I’ve never seen you before.”

“I, uh, sit in the back,” Virgil turned in his seat to face him.

“Perhaps you could join me, next class, I sit in the front row.”

Virgil doubted the professor would appreciate Virgil scrolling through his phone while he sat in the front. At least in the back, Virgil wasn’t a distraction to other students. If he sat in the front . . . everyone would be able to see him.

“It is understandable if you don’t wish to,” Logan told him.

“I’ll . . . get back to you on it.”

Virgil couldn’t think of a valid reason to turn it down, besides his fear, and that wasn’t something he wanted to share with one of Roman’s friends. If he could just avoid Logan in the lecture, things would be easier.

Logan nodded his head, “Of course. I didn’t mean to impose.”

Beside Logan, Roman shifted in his sleep and slung an arm around Logan. He mumbled about a dragon and a witch before pulling Logan closer and settling back down. Logan let out an amused huff of air.

Virgil turned back around and began to work.

“Looooo, don’t let the Dragon Witch get you,” Roman whined in his sleep.

Logan laughed quietly, “She won’t, Roman. Sleep.”

Roman hummed and shifted on the beanbag, making the third man let out a quiet huff as he readjusted in his spot.

* * *

 

On Monday, Virgil managed to avoid Logan in their physics lecture. It wasn’t hard. Virgil almost always came a minute before the lecture started and most seats were taken by then. He took a seat in the back, the most-empty section. If Virgil had wanted to sit with Logan, he wouldn’t have anyways. There was no way he’d draw attention to himself by walking all the way to the front of the lecture hall.

Trying to pay attention, Virgil put his phone facing down on his lap. The “desk” on the seat wasn’t big enough and Virgil already had a hard time writing on it, since he was left-handed. It didn’t take long for the lecture to start and for him to slowly grab his phone and begin scroll through Tumblr.

So much for paying attention.

The lecture went by fast. Virgil mindlessly wrote down the notes while he played on his phone. At the end of class, he shoved his notebook into his bag. Physics felt like a waste of an hour, given that he sucked at math and it had nothing to do with his major.

At least the lecture let out in time for him to eat lunch before the rush. He’d memorized the times the dining halls were busiest and if he left now, he’d be able to eat and leave before the lunch rush started. He hated eating while the dining halls were busy and specifically structured his schedule around the times he knew they wouldn’t be.

“Virgil!”

Virgil tensed at the call of his name and stopped putting on his backpack. He looked up to see Logan walking swiftly from the front of the lecture hall. Virgil debated running but decided against it. It wouldn’t do much when Logan was friends with his roommate. Running would only intensify the confrontation when it inevitably happened.

He set his backpack back down and waited for Logan to get to him. It didn’t take long.

“Hi, I, uh, came late.”

“There is no reason to lie, Virgil. However, I wanted to extend an offer to eat lunch with Roman, Patton, and I. We normally eat now, when I get out from this lecture.”

Virgil bit his lip. He wasn’t sure why Logan would make the offer after acknowledging Virgil’s refusal of his last one.

“Roman relayed a desire to know you better. And Patton’s . . . Patton.”

Virgil’s eyes widened in surprise. He hadn’t thought his roommate cared much for him at all. In their brief talks, Roman overwhelmed him and Virgil pushed him away. And after a while, Roman stopped trying to have those talks, choosing to focus on the two other friends he met.

Should he go? Virgil wasn’t sure. He managed to get through the last semester awkwardly slipping in and out of his shared room but had another entire semester before him. Attempting a friendship with Roman and his friends could improve the situation, make him for once comfortable in his own room.

But it could make Virgil’s life much worse. Rather than ignoring Virgil, or the occasional greeting from Roman, their interactions could turn to hatred. Roman had the power to make Virgil’s existence a nightmare if things turned sour.

Virgil knew he had no reason to worry about that. Roman never purposefully tried to hurt him, even if his constant noise was overwhelming. Not that the knowledge stopped his mind from running in circles, weaving together scenarios in which Roman did try.

Although, if Virgil never tried, neither outcome from attempting to befriend Roman again would matter. And Virgil would slip into his junior year, unnoticed, friendless, just as he had this year.

“I-I’ll come,” Virgil blurted out before he could talk himself out of it. “Let’s go before I change my mind.”

“Are you uncomfortable going? There’s no need to agree, if it causes distress.”

“It’s fine. I was going there anyway, Logan.”

* * *

 

Virgil shifted in his seat, anxious thoughts coiling his stomach too much for him to eat. The familiar fear of judgment breathed down his neck, only now the people around weren’t made up. 

He picked at his salad and glanced around the table. Virgil was sure he’d catch some hint of disgust, something that showed he messed up or was unwanted. Yet, there was none.

Across from Virgil, Roman was animatedly telling Patton a story, waving a fork around in the air to mimic a sword. Patton listened attentively, eating a breadstick from the dining hall’s pizzeria. Logan looked on fondly from behind the book he was pretending to read.

No disgust.

Virgil took a breath and allowed himself to relax the slightest. He stabbed a tomato with his fork and brought it to his mouth as his appetite started to return. Maybe he could do this after all. If anyone noticed him begin to eat, they didn’t say so.

**Author's Note:**

> Follow my Tumblr: @sanders-sides-fics


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